so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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