sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Randomize
