Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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