she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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