Got a toothbrush?
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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