I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I skipped work to stalk him.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
