so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Randomize
