I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
