I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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