It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
