capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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