community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
