Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
