i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
