okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
