You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
