So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Randomize
