just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
