he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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