I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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