Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
