what if every blade of grass was a penis?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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