KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
