Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
