oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
i will never coherently bang her
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Randomize
