Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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