Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Randomize
