so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
