Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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