Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
