I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
did i just pee glitter
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