Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
