Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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