so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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