Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
