This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
