Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
