I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
