I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
