it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
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