Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
