Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
