Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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