Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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