she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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