Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
