shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
