I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Help me help you realize you are a moron
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
