problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
