No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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