So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
