i don't like sucking hair
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
